Pot: Not Just a Phase

D.S. is a university guidance counselor in Colorado and holds a Master's degree in political science. Now in his thirties, he sings in a semi-professional choir and commutes to work by bicycle. D.S. suggests methods of cannabis use that contributed to his 4.0 GPA, his empathic understanding, and his responsible celebration of the world.

It saddens me that so many people who have tried pot did it as a teenager, experienced it in stupid teenage ways, and now think of pot as an adolescent "phase" they went through. Millions of Americans have tried pot, but have missed out on its many levels of enjoyment.

Because of this fact, I am thankful that I got a late start with pot; I didn't try it until I was 22 and had finished my bachelor's degree. I didn't get high until my 3rd attempt with pot, but when it kicked in, it did so with a bang. I was deliriously happy, my face and hands were tingling, and I laughed harder than I have ever laughed before. Being totally unfamiliar with its effects on short term memory, I found myself hilariously inarticulate, as my attempts to tell a story would keep digressing and digressing, until I couldn't remember where the story started. But it felt magical.

I enjoyed my experience so much that, being filled with anti-drug propaganda, I decided I would avoid getting addicted to pot by making a rule that I would have to let 6 months go by after smoking it before I could do it again. At the time, I didn't know many people who smoked pot, so I did it about once a year, enjoying it immensely every time. I had also met a few "cautionary tales," folks who were always stoned and appeared to be going nowhere in life, and they used pot as a part of their nowhere lifestyle.

A few years later, I went to graduate school, and was surprised that several of the smartest geniuses who were cruising through the PhD program were smoking pot on a daily basis. That's when I learned to stop fearing pot; it would not turn me into a loser. The loser stoners I had met were losers first, stoners second. Smart, healthy people who smoked pot continued to be smart, healthy people who had a better ability to think outside the box.

These fellow students introduced me to magic mushrooms (wonderfully spiritual) and LSD (too nihilistic and long-lasting). I still try to do shrooms every year.

My last problem with pot was smoking. I hate smoke, I hate how it hurts my lungs (regardless of the pipe or bong used), and as a singer I hate how it hurts my voice. One lucky day, I wandered into a magazine store and discovered a magazine called Cannabis Culture which had an advertisement for a vaporizer, which I immediately ordered. That made my experience sooooo much better, and now I can forego the only truly unhealthy aspect of pot, which is the smoke.

So why do I vaporize pot? What does it do for me?

1. Laughter

Everyone says that laughter is proven to have many different health benefits. It improves your immune system, it decreases stress, and it's just damn enjoyable. Pot helps me find even more things funny than I normally do, which is quite an achievement.

2. Music

Many here have written about music, so I'll just add this. I had gotten into a bad habit of always listening to music while doing other things (reading, eating, surfing the web, playing a computer game, or all of these at once), that I didn't realize how much more there was to get out of music when it is the sole focus of attention. Pot helps me settle down and listen to music while doing nothing else. (And, it reveals to me which musicians are on drugs, as their music sounds amazingly different when I listen stoned.)

3. Empathy and understanding

Although I am a moral person, I have never been great at social norms/social graces; I have had to learn them. Here is a basic example. A friend and I would inspire some pot (it's not smoking, so I like the term "inspire" to indicate taking it into my spirit/lungs), and after a few minutes, I would realize that I'm thirsty. Then I would realize that my friend is also likely thirsty, so I would get up and pour us both some water. Although this example is elementary, I have since started applying this empathy to more and more things. It's interesting how many tasks are less onerous to do for someone else than for oneself.

4. Spirituality

For me, spirituality is a sense of awe about the world; I don't personify it at all. (Unfortunately, the term "atheist" is widely misunderstood and maligned.) Pot has done wonders to invigorate my sense of awe, in an ongoing way. Take trees, for example. They are these gigantic, amazing things that are all around us and we hardly notice them. Nowadays I find them to be incredible gentle giants who give me great solace, and it makes me happy to be surrounded by so much other life.

Lately, I have been in greater awe of the stereophonic, surround-sound experience of birds' songs. This used to be mostly background noise to me.

5. Sense of place

I often like to go for long walks and bike rides, stoned or sober. But when I'm sober, I tend to stick to the beaten path, and find myself following the same routes out of habit. But when I'm stoned, I am constantly amazed at how effortlessly I travel different paths and find nooks and crannies in my neighborhood that I've never seen before.

Vapor

Not long ago, I visited Vancouver, where pot is tolerated in certain cafes (although it's BYOB). I found a place which was a nonsmoking place that sold art, vaporizers, other paraphernilia, and had a cafe where you could use their Volcano Vaporizers for your pot. I was amazed at how much better my high was, and how much better it felt in my lungs and how much better it tasted, even though I had been using a cheap vaporizer at home in recent years. And socializing with other people like me, in a public cafe, allowed me to taste the wonder of what a great social community pot can create if it is allowed out of the closet. I ended up buying their expensive-but-amazing vaporizer, which I figured was a long term investment, and now I dream about this amazing place.

Rules

Clearly, I don't worry about my frequency of inspiring pot anymore, but I still have rules for a healthy, balanced life. My #1 rule is that I only get high when there's nothing else that I have to get done that day. Not only does this prevent me from being irresponsible, but it keeps me enjoying pot as a celebration, rather than a routine that I could take for granted.

Lately, this has the added benefit of encouraging me to get all of my tasks for the day done so that I can get my vaporizer going. On a related note, although I am now proficient doing most things while high (although I would never drive high, because I am only willing to endanger myself, not others), I find it extremely difficult to read while high.Interestingly, this has encouraged me to read more, and to get my reading done earlier in the day so that I can enjoy it before I turn on the vaporizer.

Changes

I have always loved learning, but now I'm doing more learning now than ever before. Pot feeds my intellectual curiosity, my desire to learn everything, and my attempts to get the most out of life.

Pot has also been a part of my transformation from someone who "questions authority" to someone who now has contempt for most of it. I continue to become more and more amazed at how many mainstream, accepted, normal things are completely insane.

Needless to say, pot has helped me develop an independent morality that is less infected with societal propaganda than ever before. Pot: Not Just a Phase

Depression, the Bottom of the Mind

I've decided to lay my pain to paper only because my miracle medicine is still illegal.

Before 1992, twelve doctors proved in a court of law that Cannabis was vital to their patient's medical care. The people representing NIDA and Health and Human Services still provide the seven living patients with an ongoing monthly supply through their pharmacy. The rest of us go to prison. Marijuana can be used as medicine to drastically raise a sick person's quality of life. The plant does not take lives, and in some cases it can actually save a life: I know... because it saved mine.

Now, due to prohibition laws, I can go to prison any day for nothing more than using a plant that heals me.

Because my medicine, so vital to my health, is illegal, I have learned as much about the drug war and the inside of prison as is possible, considering I have never lived in one. I have made it my business to know because I could be arrested at any time for what I do: I must repeatedly ignore a bad law in order to stay alive and useful.

If I go to prison, I will exist in a cold concrete cell and my body will deteriorate. I will be deprived of marijuana, so my mind could sink into the small, cramped world of depression. But, my spirit is strong because of my years of use and I do what I have to do. So, never, ever believe a rumor that Kay killed herself. I am much too strong for that now.

I wasn't strong in my pre-marijuana life. I was very fragile. Depression is like a gray thread woven throughout my family, so I had a high chance of living with it. My mother suffered from it, and when I say suffer, I want you to understand that mental and physical pain are the same: They both hurt.

I'd been kind of a loner, inside myself all my childhood years. I grew from a withdrawn child, one my mom labeled 'moody,' into a broken adult. By the time I turned twenty I was having rages, followed by lots of tears, followed by periods of silence, where I could not speak, could not eat, could not respond. I knew I was flawed, but had no understanding of what was happening.

By the time I sought help several years later, I weighed 75 pounds. Suicide had begun to dominate my thoughts. It seemed the only way to stop the horrible sadness. The early attempts were weak, using generic pills that made me vomit but did nothing to ease the pain.

My first real breakdown sent me on a seven year journey into hell. When I couldn't stop crying for several days straight, I landed in a psychologist's office and was given elavil, then switched to melaril. We knew it wasn't working when I failed at my next attempt. I took pills and laid in the tub, and when it didn't work, I dressed soaking wet and ran barefoot aimlessly for nearly an hour on the frozen February streets.

I came down with pneumonia, almost comatose despair, and was graduated to the heavy stuff, Lithium, Librium, all kinds of vicious chemicals. And the sadness grew worse and worse. I could see myself losing control, but I didn't know how to stop it. Neither did the doctors, but I had insurance, and they were willing, even eager, to experiment with expensive new drugs.

For seven years I tried to destroy myself. I hid in a closet and chopped my long hair off to the roots. I threw my beautiful paintings into the river. I slept too much or too little, cried too easily... and raged. And I faithfully, obediently took their pills day after hopeless day.

I became repulsed when touched and that really hurt my children. When I began smelling myself and washing numerous times a day, I withdrew further from everyone. When I went to see the shrink, I sat way across the room. When he found out why, I was admitted to the psych ward of an expensive hospital. I stayed for a month and began the perfectly legal 'Haldol drool'. This stuff 'drug' me down so deep, I couldn't even remember to swallow.

For seven years I let them try whatever they wanted. Every time they took me off another medicine to get ready for the next, I'd have withdrawal. Each drug has its own hell, and some would set my arms and legs to twitching; some made me vomit. Haldol, my nomination for devil drug, did something to my brain. For awhile, I could see the words of a book, but I could not make any sense of them.

For seven years I grew sicker and sicker. As they changed my medicine, all the old leftover medicine had gone into a shoebox in the top of the closet, but it was as if someone else had put it there: I never consciously thought about the pills, even as I stashed them. Then one night, without awareness, I slowly consumed all of them as I bathed the children, put them to bed and meticulously cleaned the house.

Through a series of extraordinary interventions, which included my mother 2000 miles away, her neighbor, my doctor, and ma bell, I did not die, but I came as close to success as I was ever going to get.

I vaguely remember a fireman, who had broken down the door to get into my home, walking me, dragging me, up and down the hallway. 'Wake up....stay awake,' he kept saying, but I retreated to nothingness.

The next memory I have is the blindingly brilliant emergency room, fighting to keep them from sticking the tubes into my nose and mouth. When I heard the ambulance driver say, 'Opps... There's lunch,' I gave up and sought sleep. I would not be allowed to die this time either.

Three days later, I came back to the world at the sound of my doctor's voice asking the nurse, 'How long has she been like this?' My body was sitting up, alive, but my mind had been somewhere far away and quiet. He sat down beside the bed, and asked me simply, 'Why?' I could not speak and had no answer I was willing to share because I did not understand either.

He told me that he had saved me this time, but that next time I did this, the state was going to lock me in their very unhealthy mental ward. I numbly told him it didn't matter, because it was the truth. Nothing mattered.

For the few next years, I lived in a fog. I quietly played my mother role, but I was numb from medication, paralyzed by depression, just existing. I did what I had to do, but had lost hope that life would ever be more than bearable.

In 1977, when my 13 year old son drowned, the doctors asked me if I was a danger to myself. I told them that if a big Mack truck hit me, I could at least find out where my son was. So, they put me in the mental ward overnight.

I lay awake in the dark, hearing the moans and commotion of the disturbed people around me and their sounds were a reflection of the way I felt.

I went home and mechanically put together my son's funeral, but the essence of me was not there. I was 39 years old and I felt already dead.

After his cremation, an acquaintance handed me a joint and said, 'it might help and it certainly won't hurt'. Not only was I desperate, but I instinctively knew the truth. So, I sat out back alone on a stump and lit the marijuana.

I had taken only a couple of puffs and a humbling thing happened: I heard, felt, sensed a voice and it said, 'If you can handle this [my son's death], you will be able to handle anything that comes your way.'

...And my closed and shadowed mind opened like the petals of a flower and was flooded with sunshine. I had not realized how dark it was in there until marijuana turned on the light. I felt warm and at peace for the first time in my life. I felt strong and clean and whole and capable of dealing with whatever was before me. The feeling of total peace stayed with me for three days, the humbleness forever, and the strength continues to grow with everything I 'handle'.

I didn't know to call it medicine back then, but I took that shoebox full of perfectly legal and very dangerous drugs that had slowly refilled and buried it deep, deep in the earth near the lake. And I have, never, ever looked back. I thank God and His plant for the healing. He said everything I needed was here and He meant it.

I made plenty of mistakes, but I raised my five remaining children virtually as a single mother, and did hard decent work to support them. I stood strong during one daughter's three month coma, and helped birth six perfect grandchildren. At the age of 50, I managed three years in college, mastering four honors courses.

I did in-the-trenches research and learned about the lies, until I realized that I was supporting harmful policies with my silence. When the last child was no longer dependant on me, I began my own journey for justice. I, shy grandma that I was, stood in public places talking about 'politically unpopular' truths, debunking the myths, challenging authority, and comforting the people whose lives had been or could be altered and destroyed by marijuana laws. I devoted myself to the plant, its creator, and its people. Can you blame me?

I rejoice in living without doctors, without debilitating drugs, without the constant overwhelming depression. My mind is no longer filled with cobwebs and fog. My God, why would anyone want to take this from me?
What could motivate anyone to want to throw me back into that darkness and make me useless to others?

I just don't understand...

How to smoke pot and stay out of jail

High: The True Tale of American Marijuana - Review

There's a great new film about the drug war making its debut this month. John Holowach has created a serious documentary that's lots of fun to watch. And while the title, High: the True Tale of American Marijuana gives you the starting point for this film, the overall content sneaks up on you and before you're fully aware of it, you've come to understand that the entire drug war is inescapably interconnected.


A picture named high.gif John Holowach is an accomplished film-maker who has passionate feelings about the drug war (he's been a regular at Drug WarRant). This film came about because of his realization that there was an important void to be filled. And "High" is the only documentary out there that provides a comprehensive contemporary view of drug policy reform.

Like many modern documentaries, this one is filmed with a clear point of view -- there's no doubt that the film maker believes that the drug war is a failure -- even the film's poster makes it obvious! But Holowach does it without preaching or stridency -- and balanced with quite a sense of humor.

Clocking in at a full three hours, this is no brief flirtation with the drug war. It's deep immersion. And the good news is that it moves well enough that it doesn't feel like three hours. Highly seasoned drug policy reformers may not learn a whole lot of new information, yet they'll still find the interviews fascinating. The real audience for "High" is the open-minded young person who needs to know more. It's a must-show for campus groups. It's also going to be something that drug policy reformers will want to own -- to show friends or loan out.

"High" is shot in an informal style -- lots of hand-held camera interviews in available light, interspersed with stock footage and nostalgic images. Clearly low-budget, but well researched. The writing and John Holowach's breezy narration style keep it light and entertaining.

The one thing missing? Opponents. Holowach addresses the fact that no major drug war proponent was willing to be filmed, so he found his own way to add a debate. With the permission of "The Bill Good Show" on CKNW News Talk 980, he was able to get a tape of John Walters' interview with Peter Warren, and Holowach dismantles Walters' propaganda point by point.

There are two extended segments in the film to break your heart and outrage you. One with a victim, and the father of a victim, of Straight, Inc., and another with the patients of Dr. Paul Heberle, who was targeted for practicing pain medication.

Other interviews include Keith Stroup talking about the history of the marijuana legalization movement, Ricardo Cortes talking about his marijuana book for children, Jeffrey Miron on the economics of the drug war, Lyle Craker on drug policy science, and Siobhan Reynolds on the war on pain medicine. Fascinating individuals all. And there's something incredible about a moment near the end of the film when Siobhan Reynolds simply and elegantly describes drugs:

They're things. They're not good. They're not bad. They're... stuff.

10 Things Every Parent, Teenager Or Teacher Should Know About Marijuana

1 Q. What is Marijuana?

A. "Marijuana" refers to the dried leaves and flowers of the cannabis plant [1], which contain the non-narcotic chemical THC at various potencies. It is smoked or eaten to produce the feeling of being "high." The different strains of this herb produce different sensual effects, ranging from sedative to stimulant.

2 Q. Who Uses Marijuana?

A. There is no simple profile of a typical marijuana user. It has been used for 1000s of years for medical, social, and religious reasons and for relaxation [2]. Several of our Presidents [3] are believed to have smoked it. One out of every five Americans say they have tried it. And it is still popular among artists, writers, musicians, activists, lawyers, inventors, working people, etc.

3 Q. How Long Have People Been Using Marijuana?

A. Marijuana has been used since ancient times [4]. While field hands and working people have often smoked the raw plant, aristocrats historically prefer hashish [5] made from the cured flowers of the plant. It was not seen as a problem until a calculated disinformation [sic] campaign was launched in the 1930s [6], and the first American laws against using it were passed [7].

4 Q. Is Marijuana Addictive?

A. No, it is not [8]. Most users are moderate consumers who smoke it socially to relax. We now know that 10% of our population have "addictive personalities" and they are neither more nor less likely to overindulge in cannabis than in anything else. On a relative scale, marijuana is less habit forming than either sugar or chocolate but more so than anchovies. Sociologists report a general pattern of marijuana use that peaks in the early adult years, followed by a period of levelling off and then a gradual reduction in use [9].

5 Q. Has Anyone Ever Died From Smoking Marijuana?

A. No; not one single case, not ever. THC is one of the few chemicals for which there is no known toxic amount [10]. The federal agency NIDA says that autopsies reveal that 75 people per year are high on marijuana when they die: this does not mean that marijuana caused or was even a factor in their deaths. The chart below compares the number of deaths attributable to selected substances in a typical year:

Tobacco...............................340,000 - 395,000

Alcohol (excluding crime/accidents).............125,000+

Drug Overdose (prescription)............24,000 - 27,000

Drug Overdose (illegal)...................3,800 - 5,200

Marijuana.............................................0

*Source: U.S. Government Bureau of Mortality Statistics, 1987

6 Q. Does Marijuana Lead to Crime and/or Hard Drugs?

A. No [11]. The only crime most marijuana users commit is that they use marijuana. And, while many people who abuse dangerous drugs also smoke marijuana, the old "stepping stone" theory is now discredited, since virtually all of them started out "using" legal drugs like sugar, coffee, cigarettes, alcohol, etc.

7 Q. Does Marijuana Make People Violent?

A. No. In fact, Federal Bureau of Narcotics director Harry Anslinger once told Congress just the opposite - that it leads to non-violence and pacifism [12]. If he was telling the truth (which he and key federal agencies have not often done regarding marijuana), then re-legalizing marijuana should be considered as one way to curb violence in our cities. The simple fact is that marijuana does not change your basic personality. The government says that over 20 million Americans still smoke it, probably including some of the nicest people you know.

8 Q. How Does Marijuana Affect Your Health?

A. Smoking anything is not healthy, but marijuana is less dangerous than tobacco and people smoke less of it at a time. This health risk can be avoided by eating the plant instead of smoking it [13], or can be reduced by smoking smaller amounts of stronger marijuana. There is no proof that marijuana causes serious health or sexual problems [14] but, like alcohol, its use by children or adolescents is discouraged. Cannabis is a medicinal herb that has hundreds of proven, valuable theraputic uses - from stress reduction to glaucoma to asthma to cancer therapy, etc. [15].

9 Q. What About All Those Scary Statistics and Studies?

A. Most were prepared as scare tactics for the government by Dr. Gabriel Nahas, and were so biased and unscientific that Nahas was fired by the National Institute of Health [16] and finally renounced his own studies as meaningless [17]. For one experiment, he suffocated monkeys for five minutes at a time, using proportionately more smoke than the average user inhales in an entire lifetime [18]. The other studies that claim sensational health risks are also suspect, since they lack controls and produce results which cannot be replicated or independently verified [19].

10 Q. What Can I Do About Marijuana?

A. No independent government panel that has studied marijuana has ever recommended jail for users [20]. Concerned persons should therefore ask their legislators to re-legalize and tax this plant, subject to age limits and regulations similar to those on alcohol and tobacco.

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Most Marijuana Users Do Not Touch Hard Drugs

We all may know heroin addicts who smoked marijuana, which may lead us to think that marijuana and heroin go together. But we forget the 83 million Americans who tried marijuana and never touched heroin. The chances of regularly using hard drugs after trying marijuana are small. In fact the chances of regularly using marijuana are small.
Data from the 2001 National Household Survey on Drug abuse show that if you've ever tried marijuana in your life, your chance of using other drugs in the last month is:

* 1 in 7 for marijuana
* 1 in 12 for any other illicit drug
* 1 in 50 for cocaine
* 1 in 208 for crack
* 1 in 677 for heroin

You're more likely to flip a coin nine times and get all 'heads' than become a regular user of heroin after trying marijuana.
In short, most people who try marijuana do not use it regularly and never try hard drugs.
Again, we all may know heroin addicts who used marijuana first. Nevertheless, research shows plenty of people, especially those with drug problems, use hard drugs before marijuana. One study showed that 39% of drug abusers started with a drug other than marijuana.
Users tend to start with whatever drug is most available. In neighborhoods filled with crack dealers, people could start with crack. But crack is not the gateway to marijuana use. Allen Ginsberg, the legendary 'Beat' poet, used heroin before marijuana. But heroin is not the gateway, either. Obviously, if marijuana use doesn't happen first, it can't cause hard drug use.
Even if every heroin addict used marijuana first, that fact alone would not prove that marijuana caused heroin addiction. They all ate bread before their heroin addiction, but nobody has called bread the gateway drug. (At least not yet.) Marijuana doesn't cause hard drug use. People may wonder, "What's the harm in scaring teens with this little white lie, especially if it keeps them away from drugs?" Like all lies, this one catches up later. Teens who believe that marijuana leads to hard drugs end up using substances with markedly worse effects. I've had clients and students explain: "We heard pot led to heroin, so we just sniffed glue." Inhalants cause more problems than marijuana ever will, including brain damage and death.
In addition, the gateway lie leads to hard drugs in unexpected ways. When kids try marijuana, they realize that the propaganda they've heard is untrue. They don't shoot their friends with handguns, wake up pregnant, or support terrorism. They soon suspect that other drug information is false. The teachers who said that marijuana leads to hard drugs were wrong. Why believe it when they say that crack is addictive?
The gateway lie costs us our credibility. Marijuana does not lead teens to hard drugs, but lying to them about it does.